co-counsel
by ayasato
Summary: athena uses the mood matrix to help a friend.


The blue glow of the Mood Matrix highlights the small crease in her brow, the purse of her lips as she studies the screen. The hollow, intermittent bleeps coming from the thing are reminiscent of a heart rate monitor, and it's a little alarming, but the young lawyer's professional disposition calms me down.

"It's a little noisy, isn't it? Sorry about that." Athena swipes the screen a couple times, her eyes flicking between the four corners. "But the Mood Matrix doesn't lie– what you're hearing is what I'm hearing in your heart right now. The discord."

The constant pain in my chest, dull and throbbing, suddenly spikes at that last word. It's not that Athena's abilities are news to me anymore; it's the confirmation that the emotions I've been feeling are very real, and not just tricks of my psyche. Real, and possibly tangible emotions too, now that they've been converted into sound waves, or whatever. It makes me feel vulnerable, how loud the beeping is, and how simply anybody walking past the door would be able to hear the emotions that I'd been keeping under wraps for so long.

Athena studies the Mood Matrix in silence for a little longer. She's always exploding with energy, running races, taking the stairs three steps at a time while grinning ear to ear, so it's mildly disconcerting so see her so still, face and hand hovering over her screen like a statue. But I suppose that one can't be a lawyer and a psychologist without concentration and poise. It's nice to be sitting with someone who seems to have everything under control, anyway, because things are quite the opposite on my end–

 _"_ _Interesting!"_ blips a high-pitched voice.

Athena glares at Widget, before she looks to me and her face melts into a sheepish smile.

"Ah, sorry again. It's just that while you were talking earlier, one thing in particular caught my eye on the Mood Matrix."

I look at the blue screen in front of her with trepidation. Did it have access to my entire brain somehow, and found out something it shouldn't know? Oh no… maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all…

She smiles reassuringly at me (right, she can hear my heart!) while Widget glows green.

"Through all the sadness, anger, and confusion… while you were telling me about it, you felt a little happiness, too, didn't you?"

My head snaps up in surprise. _Happy_?

" _Oui_!" Her smile is radiant now, as she scoots over next to me to show me the Mood Matrix from the front; the couch dips and creaks audibly with the movement. "Though only a bit, the happiness icon is flashing here."

It's bizarre, but it's as she says. Through the blaring of the other emotions, the green icon pulses gently and steadily.

...That doesn't make any sense. The Mood Matrix might be in need of some maintenance or something, because although the jumbled mess of emotions in my heart is difficult to pick apart, I'm pretty sure that I'm not particularly ecstatic about anything. If anything at all. Especially not _now_.

But Athena isn't deterred. "It might not be your typical _happiness_ , per se, but you felt definitely something positive– and that positive emotion was strong enough to show up on the Mood Matrix, despite the overpowering sadness and anger. Do you want to know what it is?"

I maintain an expression of disbelief.

"Hope."

My face drops.

 _Hope?_

"Even though you were feeling helpless, you reached out to me," she says, softer now. "and I know that it's not that easy for you to open up about things like this."

The Mood Matrix continues to bleep away, a cacophony of despair, but the sounds are drowned out by the rapid thumping of my own heart– because Athena is right. She knows, she's heard the emotions in my heart like she is right now. With no way out, no other option, I'd called her up after a good week of deliberation because–

"You never gave up!"

The young lawyer taps Widget, and the blue screen disappears along with the four icons and their terrible sound. We don't need it anymore.

"You've been keeping your pain to yourself for so long," she laments, unconsciously holding her arm, "or maybe you've been feeling that nobody's really understood what you're going through, or that nobody can really help. But despite all that, you came to me, looking for anything at all that could help keep you afloat."

I can't meet her eye, opting to focus on the potted plant in the corner, but we both know that I don't have to. The truth has been laid bare.

"Even as a psychologist, I can't guarantee I'll ever completely understand your true feelings either. Or that if I can even change your situation. All I have is the painful discord I can hear from your heart." She smiles again. "But if there's one thing I can guarantee, it's that I'll do my best to help you."

I look back at her, and her face never wavers. She's going to help me, and nothing and nobody can stop her– I know that very well. Which is probably the reason I came to see her in the first place. Once she knew, she'd never give up on me, even if I backtracked later on, and I guess that's what a good friend does.

She's still talking. "And that's both as a psychologist, and a friend! I'm so glad you let me help. The Mood Matrix helped you understand your emotions at least a little better now, right?"

She pauses there as I nod a little, because that funky technology of hers actually did end up help me realise something. Before I can react, she has spread her arms and pulled me into an embrace. Her jacket isn't the most comfortable thing to be feeling, and her long, ginger hair is all over my face, but she is warm, and I rest my head on her shoulder feeling utterly exhausted. Beyond the window, the sky is bright and blue, almost glowing. I'm grateful that she can't see my face right now.

Her voice is thick with emotion once she speaks again. "Don't you forget that I care about you, alright? I'll do anything I can to help you out!"

She tightens the hug, as if to punctuate her resolution, and I can't help but feel a little more determined too. It turns out I'd never given up hope after all; and I don't think I will now.

"Let's do this together."

* * *

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